Retrospectively

Retrospectively, what I thought was false labour, was actually real labour.

Retrospectively, I should have started to time contractions earlier and get Wolfram to do the emotional support part earlier. I was in so much pain it was even hard to breathe and having someone to distract me would have helped... At least a bit.

Retrospectively, the breathing exercises they teach you don't really help. They keep your mind focused on breathing vs. the pain, but that's only a distraction. When it hurts, it hurts.

Retrospectively, we should have called earlier the doctor and go to the hospital before it became so painful. But again, how could we have known these were real contractions? All the descriptions in the world cannot describe what it feels like.

Retrospectively, it was a great thing to get the epidural. I felt enough of the pain before and the one they gave me was only blocking 90% of the pain, meaning I could still feel the birth. The only difference is that it was bearable vs. the torture of the earlier contractions.

Retrospectively, I would have never thought that someone would give me a Milo drink during delivery to manage my hunger. This chocolate drink is very popular in south east Asia, but let's face it, it's more for kids than adults. If I had known, I would have eaten some pasta before going to the hospital.

Retrospectively, I am happy that Oskar had made most of his way down when I started pushing. I heard that delivering a baby in 30-40min is pretty fast. Even if it was only "pushing", it was intense pushing and I am not sure for how long I could have done that.

Retrospectively, I could have never imagined what it feels when they put the baby on the mother after birth. It was unbelievable to think that such beautiful baby came out of me. I know I said I don't want to see my baby when he is still dirty from the birth, but somehow through the eyes of a new mother, whatever blood and other substances on him disappear and only the most perfect baby remained. I guess this is why people say that we have selective memory. Instead of remembering the pain of labour and the struggle of the past 9 months, all I see is the cutest baby ever. 

Retrospectively nothing could have prepared us to the happiness when we saw him for the first time or to all the feelings we had instantly for this little guy. It's simply incredible.