2 weeks already

It's been two weeks already since Oskar was born. Two weeks that have passed at speed of light. I guess time flies between changing diapers and feedings. 

We are still trying to find Oskar's rhythm with the hope that it will include long nights.

Until then we get long naps and fragmented nights. If only it could be the other way around :)

The grand-parents' effect

I don't know how they do it but they always manage to calm Oskar and put him in deep sleep. 

I guess it's the experience that makes the difference. This said, to us it looks like magic. 

Finally

Oskar woke up at 7am this morning and it took about 6 hours to get him to sleep again. 

6 hours filled with:

- 2 feedings

- 3 diaper changes

- 1 thunderstorm that woke him up

- 1 hiccup that also woke him up

It has been a very long morning. Now I just hope he will sleep a few hours before we have to repeat the whole process again.

Keep your fingers crossed nothing will wake him up. I really need a bit of time to take a shower.

Becoming a Dad is exhausting...

Therefore one should not miss any opportunity to recover.

Wolfram, on the watch :)

Why is she waking me up?

We've been told to wake Oskar up every three hours max during the day for feeding (while we can feed in demand at night... Not that it makes a difference vs. the day for us).

Diligently today I started the waking up process and was welcome first by a smell. Seems like we will have our first "home made" poop.

Overcoming the smell, I started to stimulate Oskar here and there. First there was yawning, followed by puzzled face: "who's talking to me? Who's waking me up?"

Soon enough there was crying and confirmation of what I had smelled: the biggest poop ever. Well, relative to the size of the little guy who produced it. 

The smell was nasty, the look disgusting and the only comforting point was that the diaper hold it all inside. Thank you Pampers!

Nap time

For both mother and son. 

They did they I should sleep when he does. 

A trip to the French embassy

Oskar being born in Singapore of a French mother and a German father, this means for us three times more paperwork. Wolfram registered the birth in Singapore on Monday. That was easy as it could be done at the hospital itself.

Next step is to register the birth in our respective countries.

Today, armed with all the documents and helped by my parents, we went to the French embassy.

It was the first time going out with Oskar and this required a bit of preparation. Luckily his morning feeding time allowed us a three hour window to go there and come back. While the little one was sleeping we prepared everything needed. In case you wonder, I had not yet prepared the diaper bag because I thought I would have the time this week before delivering. Anyhow, the essentials were collected. I got dressed. I called a taxi. I grabbed Oskar and we secured him in the car seat. He is so small that it's a bit hard to install him nicely but safety first. 

Taxi ride was smooth as Oskar slept all the way. Taxi driver didn't know where it was and the GPS was confused as well. Anyhow we made it. 

Little guy was sleeping nicely while we waited. I had confirmation that the picture for the passport was ok. Pity I didn't have it with me as I could have done the passport request directly. Had we known... But again as they are so picky on pictures if I had come with one it would not have been right. Murphy's law...

Soon enough it was my turn. I went in the office of the officer to register the birth. I left Oskar with my parents.

Of course they needed a copy of the passport of Wolfram which I didn't have and was not mentioned on the website. But for once French administration was organized. There was a computer and a printer. With the file in my email I could get it printed on the spot. So efficient.

It took quite a bit if time to fill in everything and check twice everything (names, date, location, etc) before the official document was printed and copies were handed to me.

Oskar is now officially recognized and a French citizen :)

Of course in the meantime Oskar woke up. Funny enough there was another baby in the waiting area. When that one started to cry the officer asked me whether it was mine. I said no. I could tell it was not Oskar based on the crying sound. Later on, another baby was crying. This time it was mine. Seems after  four days, I can distinguish between baby crying sounds. Never though I could. 

The officer offered to accelerate a bit so I could get to my son quickly. Luckily we had brought some food so my mum gave him something.

From there is was one long cry: leaving the embassy, in the taxi, getting home. Until I could feed him. Gee, that was torture to hear.

Yet the two of us made it home. I gave him good, I changed him, I put him to sleep. Relieved :)

3 hours

First night at home for Oskar.

First night for us without the hospital back up.

There was one feeding around 10-11pm and a bit of struggle to get him to sleep. But eventually my dad cracked it. By midnight everybody was in bed asleep. Yes, including parents and grand-parents.

2:45am we were back on.

Oskar woke up crying. 

I got up and started to prepare to feed him.

A bit later Wolfram joined us.

3am done with feeding. Wolfram is up for getting Oskar asleep.

And he tried.

Then I tried.

Then he tried again.

By 4am we decided to feed again as someone was wide awake. And that someone was not the new parents.

At 4:30am, we tried again to get him to sleep without success. 

At 4:45am we decided to go though the check-list again. We checked the diaper. Not much in there but some traces of what looked like blood to us. It was reddish. 

I woke up my mum for an expert opinion. She said she wasn't sure and it's most likely just the digestive system getting going.

We changed the diaper.

I sent Wolfram back to bed as he had to go to work in a few hours.

I stayed with my mum who helped walking with Oskar. I then tried feeding again. Followed by a burp. Followed by more walking and suddenly some gas came out.

A bit later he was finally asleep. It was 5:45am. This first night feeding took only 3 hours!!!

I was dead and I cannot imagine the morning.

Now let's all get some sleep before we have to start this all over.

Where did the time go?

I woke up at the hospital after a night in pieces (I know, I should get used to that). I had a shower and then saw the pediatrician. Soon after Wolfram arrived and so did breakfast. We had this moment of quiet while having breakfast before they brought Oskar back from his check-up. 

From there, it didn't stop. We saw the doctor who confirmed I could be discharged, the nurses briefed is on three millions of things to take care of the baby, we met the lactation consultant, we packed, we took a taxi back home (first drive of Oskar in a ... Mercedes - it had to be a German car), we settled the little guy in is new home which means we  installed what was not installed yet, we emptied the bags. I fed Oskar a couple of times.

 By 6pm, the day was nearly gone and I wondered where the time had passed. Fundamentally I did not do anything major today.  Most of my time disappeared in feeding Oskar. I had been told he would take over the schedule of a day. I didn't realize how true this would be.

Memory of Oskar's first car trip

Peacefully sleeping in a German car... feels like home?

Visitors

Today many of our friends and colleagues passed by to congratulate us and meet Oskar. I'm not sure he realized that he was the center of so much attention given he slept most of the day. We, on the other hand, were very touched to see all of them and happy to share our happiness.

We've received also a lot of wishes via email, Skype or Facebook. I feel very lucky to live at a time when we can share great news around the world so quickly. In less than 24h, family, friends, colleagues in all continents knew about Oskar. 

Thank you everyone for your wishes and gifts. We are really blessed to have you all in our lives.

Retrospectively

Retrospectively, what I thought was false labour, was actually real labour.

Retrospectively, I should have started to time contractions earlier and get Wolfram to do the emotional support part earlier. I was in so much pain it was even hard to breathe and having someone to distract me would have helped... At least a bit.

Retrospectively, the breathing exercises they teach you don't really help. They keep your mind focused on breathing vs. the pain, but that's only a distraction. When it hurts, it hurts.

Retrospectively, we should have called earlier the doctor and go to the hospital before it became so painful. But again, how could we have known these were real contractions? All the descriptions in the world cannot describe what it feels like.

Retrospectively, it was a great thing to get the epidural. I felt enough of the pain before and the one they gave me was only blocking 90% of the pain, meaning I could still feel the birth. The only difference is that it was bearable vs. the torture of the earlier contractions.

Retrospectively, I would have never thought that someone would give me a Milo drink during delivery to manage my hunger. This chocolate drink is very popular in south east Asia, but let's face it, it's more for kids than adults. If I had known, I would have eaten some pasta before going to the hospital.

Retrospectively, I am happy that Oskar had made most of his way down when I started pushing. I heard that delivering a baby in 30-40min is pretty fast. Even if it was only "pushing", it was intense pushing and I am not sure for how long I could have done that.

Retrospectively, I could have never imagined what it feels when they put the baby on the mother after birth. It was unbelievable to think that such beautiful baby came out of me. I know I said I don't want to see my baby when he is still dirty from the birth, but somehow through the eyes of a new mother, whatever blood and other substances on him disappear and only the most perfect baby remained. I guess this is why people say that we have selective memory. Instead of remembering the pain of labour and the struggle of the past 9 months, all I see is the cutest baby ever. 

Retrospectively nothing could have prepared us to the happiness when we saw him for the first time or to all the feelings we had instantly for this little guy. It's simply incredible. 

Introducing

Oskar Noah Gabriel

50cm

2.785 kg (slightly slimmer than expected)

39 weeks and a few days to bring to this world.

2 super happy parents and many more grand-parents, uncles and aunts, cousins.

True or False

Since last night I started to feel pain in my lower belly and back. I naively thought it would go away by moving, stretching or even swimming. But it did not.
At some point this afternoon I started to wonder whether these waves of pain could be contractions. And most likely they are. I have started monitoring them as they grew closer and stronger. They are still irregular which means this is "false" labor and there is still some time to go until tadpole comes out.
Still, if this is the level of pain in "false" labor, I can't imagine what it will be in "true" labor. I never really had any doubt about getting the epidural, but after today, I am 100% sure I am going for it.

By the way, whoever wrote that one can continue taking care of things (e.g. work, household chores, walking) during false labor must have been a man. There is no way one can do anything while twisted by pain.

39 weeks

Officially one more week to go.

Weekly check-up with doctor confirmed that tadpole engaged. The good thing about this is that it means we are close to the end. My belly is clearly lower so I can breathe more easily and my stomach has more space. The downside of it is that I have to go to the bathroom even more often and I feel both lower belly and lower back pain whenever I move. It's time to get this baby out :)

Tadpole is a bit more than 3.3kg this week. 

All lights are green for delivering.

Just need the process to start. I'll be walking and squatting regularly to help gravity and nature. 

Sometimes Asia puzzles me

Every now and then I pass by a shop with a name that is supposed to be French. I guess it must inspire people in Asia but sadly for them it rarely is French. At most, I wonder what they tried to say. But in most cases it simply does not mean anything at all. Like this one.

Not to mention such clothing would never be sold in France, or Europe actually.

Last week at work

Today I'm starting my last week in the office before the maternity leave.
It feels weird to think that as of next week I will not go to work for four months. Although I've been told I won't have time to get bored.

A few degrees less

This week it's been raining a lot. Instead of the usual daily thunderstorm, we've been experiencing rain two or three times a day. However it is not yet the rainy season in Singapore (only starting in November). So what is this?
Apparently it's to some extent a bit of monsoon. Normally Singapore is not really impacted by monsoon, but this year it seems different.
What doe sit mean for us?
We clearly should not forget our umbrella because when it rains it rains hard.
On the positive note, instead of a constant sauna, temperature is maximum 30-31C which is very pleasant. No more sweating in the morning as soon as you get out of the house. Less sweating during the day as it's not as hot. Nutella is less liquid. True the frequent rain is limiting the access to terraces and the pool, but overall it's pleasant to have a few degrees less.
Even more when you have to carry around tadpole for another week (or two).

La Traviata

A little while ago I had convinced Wolfram to get tickets for La Traviata, to be performed at the Esplanade theater in Singapore. This theater is famous as it looks like a durian. Now, why people would want to build a theater looking like a stinking fruit remains a mystery to me. Yet, it's the biggest theater in Singapore and hosts many concerts, operas and other shows.

We were both positively surprised by the concert hall. It looked much better than expected, and perfectly suited for an opera. On top the seats we had selected in the first balcony were pretty good, I.e. good visibility and almost in the center.

The opera itself was good, at least to the inexpert that I am. It was weird to see Asian people on the stage. I guess I'm not used to it. And to be fair given they are overall smaller people, it is quite impressive that they manage to get so much voice out of them.

What was totally disturbing was the set up and the decor. While La Traviata is a classic, the performers were wearing modern clothes and so was the decor. Having someone on stage singing about Violetta leaving in a horse carriage while playing on a laptop is disturbing. For some reason I couldn't get my mind to accept this mix between time periods.

Putting the anachronisms aside, we had a good time and the three hours passed pretty quickly. Conclusion we should do that more often.

Weekly visit to the doctor

Lamia: I'm tired, haven't slept a whole night since weeks. When I sleep 3h in a row I'm lucky.

Doctor: it's normal.

Lamia: My back is killing me. Belly is heavier and heavier. I'm having a hard time moving sometimes.

Doctor: Yes, that's normal at this stage.

Lamia: I get a lot of pain in the belly. It comes and goes but it's more and more painful.

Doctor: This is false labour. Your body is training for the big day. It's all normal and will increase as we get closer to the delivery date. 

Conclusion of this visit:

- Everything is "normal". Tadpole is growing. He is now 3.1kg, quite a big jump vs. last week. Still some time to go as he will most likely be somewhere around 3.4-3.5kg as his parents at birth. 

- Future mummy is fine as well... Let's say she is feeling all the right symptoms for that point of time of pregnancy. And make up is a huge savior when it comes to hide dark marks under the eyes.

- We've completed 37 weeks so tadpole is now considered at terms. He will stay in for at least another week, so the doctor said. Request from grandparents is that he stays inside another 2 weeks. Let's see what happens.

Net, all we have to do now is wait. Wait and some squatting for me to help tadpole going down. That's going to be fun.

PS: yesterday Raphael passed by and brought us all the things we ordered from Europe. The stroller is assembled and we've trained on opening and closing it. The car seat is ready too. Same here we've practiced to get it in and out the stroller. I guess we will gain speed as we practice more. Pampers and wipes are nicely stored under our changing table. We still need to figure out how to use the baby monitor. Apart from that and the bathtub, we have in theory all the minimum to get started.

Not saying that we are ready, but we are as good as we can get.

French TV

The offering in terms of TV channels in Singapore is pretty limited and when it comes to French channels it's basically none. For the past year I've been watching either France 24 via their app or some shows available via YouTube. 

This week, on one French forum that I follow I discovered a new app: French TV pro.

What does it do?

It allows me to watch A selection of French TV channels. Not all of them but a range wide enough to entertain me a bit more in French.

I've tried it quite a bit this week and it works well. I could watch France 2, France 3, MTV France, Arte, Euronews and more.

The only negative is that it's live streaming. Meaning I can only watch the shows that are being broadcasting at that point of time. Being 6 hours ahead, it means night shows in the morning and afternoon shows in the evening my time.

It's not perfect but it's better than nothing. When you are abroad anything that helps you keep in touch with your home country is always welcome.

And with the maternity leave coming soon, I feel I will have time to occupy.