This entry summarizes a bit more than three months of events related to what seems to be our next chapter in life.
We decided to keep it secret until the line of the three months would be passed. Hopefully meaning that our little baby is fine and growing healthy.
Suspicion:
We were on a business trip to India. My period were due but didn't show up. It could have been for many reasons like the stress of traveling or the numerous time zones we had travelled across in the past weeks.
Back in Singapore, still nothing so I bought a pregnancy test. Because if I am pregnant, better know it sooner rather than later. And if not, no need to stress about it.
On Monday Jan 14th, in the evening between dinner and my evening call, I successfully peed on the stick. I say successfully because it is obvious that whoever designed that stick was not a woman. No man on this planet can understand the challenge that it is for a woman to pee on a target that's 1 cm large. Inevitably it is a messy process.
Anyhow, a few minutes later, the message was pretty clear:
(in case it's not obvious, a cross / plus sign means pregnant).
Confirmation:
On Jan 26th, we met with the Dr Tan in the Women Clinic in our area. She confirmed that we were pregnant and we walked out of there with the first ultrasound of our baby. Well, we walked out of there with an ultrasound that shows a black pocket with something flickering of 2.6mm long. Apparently that's our baby. I felt like in the X-Files: I believed that this tiny spot on the ultrasound is a baby because I was not told, and not because I could really see it. It could have been a lot of things.
Now the drama of this appointment was not in the ultrasound, not in the scary thought that I won't be able to drink Diet Coke for 9 months. It was in the very beginning. When we arrived there, I was asked to pee in a cup. If you ask me, there is a lot of peeing involved around pregnancy and I'm not sure I like it.
Of course I didn't need to go. So I had to drink. Wolfram, my hero, went to the shop nearby to get me cold water. I've always struggled to drink water in the morning (for some mysterious reason I don't like its taste in the morning) and it's even worse when the water is at room temperature. I drank almost 1.5L of water that morning, and yet it took a good 45 min before I felt the need to go.
Apparently I will have to pee in a cup before every appointment. It's good that I know it in advance so I can start drinking before leaving the house.
Realization:
We are walking out of the clinic, and suddenly it hit us. We are pregnant. We are going to have a baby. Which brings millions of questions, excitement and panic altogether.
I wish I could have a drink to celebrate and help relax...
They are taking everything from me
First painkillers which makes my life significantly less comfortable as my back is killing me... Already before the fun really starts.
Second alcohol which usually helps forgetting a bad day and the pain.
Third caffeine. And that's tough. While I couldn't care less when they talked about blue cheese, no more tea or diet coke is not going to work. I searched numerous websites and found that I can have up to 3 cups a day. That's like 5 times less than what I am used to but apparently baby has to come first.
Fourth sleep. Really not helping. I struggle to find a comfortable position because of my back and when I finally do I wake up because I have to pee. I told you I feel there will be a lot of pee related matter with pregnancy and that's one of them. It's been only one month and I am already sleep deprived.
Get a plastic bag
Week #5 or #7 depending how you count, I start to feel nausea in the morning. One wrong smell in the kitchen and my stomach is turning over. If it's not a smell, it's motion. Typically the ride in the subway has become painful. I feel like throwing up for half of the way and I need a couple of hours once in the office to "settle down".
For a few days now, Wolfram is carrying with him a plastic bag. Based on his previous experience of being sick in public transportation while going to school, he used to carry a plastic bag with him, just in case. Following the same logic, he is not prepared just in case something goes wrong with me.
He also suggested I get one on my own for the times when we are not commuting together. This suggestion was followed by a crazy debate on what the ideal plastic bag should be: how big it should be, whether it can be sealed like a ziploc, etc.
A miracle
Being pregnant makes me very tired. I drag myself from one day to the other. I collapse on the bed by 10pm and on weekends, I need naps to recover from the week.
One positive thing about me being exhausted all the time is that for the first time I was able to get some sleep while flying to US. That's a miracle because I usually cannot sleep in aircraft. But the combination of exhaustion and hormones I have to take worked some magic.
Jet lag
For almost one week I didn't feel nausea when I woke up. Thanks to jet lag, my body was confused and it took five days until I felt it again in the morning. I have to say I enjoyed waking up and not feeling like throwing up. After all there are some good about jet lag.
Telling the family
I took the opportunity to tell my parents, Joy and Yann while I was in Paris. Wolfram was with us via FaceTime. In the pure family tradition, some of us released a few tears... of happiness of course. The news immediately travelled to Lebanon where even more crying was involved when I told my grand mother.
Unfortunately I had to tell Jean-Habib and Lisa via Skype. I had planned to tell them when I was visiting but a blizzard got in the way.
We told Wolfram's parents over FaceTime a few days later.
2 months
Second appointment with the doctor. It's now been 2 months and everything is fine. To summarize I feel miserable. I'm tired all the time. Every morning I feel nausea. I have more pimples than when I was 14. The smallest thing that upset me makes me cry. I simply don't recognize my body and I have lost control over.
Yet, that's all good. The more miserable I feel, the more the baby is growing.
Nature certainly has a weird way.
Anyhow, I've had my first blood test and we've made an appointment for more Down syndrome.
And we got our second ultrasound picture. After the sesame seed from last time, our tadpole has now a head and apparently legs. Doctor said she saw arms, but again, I will believe her because what was on the screen was not obvious.
I should have read the fine prints
All I've ever heard about pregnancy was how beautiful it was to bring a new life to this world. Yes there are some inconveniences, but nothing really bad. I guess it's selective memory.
I should have read the fine prints. The more I read about pregnancy the longer the list of those inconveniences. And guess what, I have them all. Not one, not two, the full list!
While my doctor is happy, I feel miserable and while I have the hope that I will stop feeling nauseous every morning in 4 (!!!!!) weeks from now, everything else will stay and potentially get worse. I'm having a hard time believing that I will need to go to the bathroom even more often. I might as well live in it.
Today I had to laugh when I saw this cartoon from the pregnancy app that I have downloaded. It summarizes pretty well the situation.
What makes all the pregnancy troubles worth it
So far being pregnant is more a burden than anything else. I know I should not say that but the fact that my body is now a host over which I don't have control, does not really fill me up with joy.
What does make me happy is the smile on Wolfram's face each time he thinks about our tadpole. It almost makes me forget about all the troubles. Almost...
Probability calculation
Given my age, the doctor recommended we do the screening for the Down syndrome. For several years now, there is a test that can be taken that allows the calculation of probability for a baby to have Down syndrome. Based on the outcome, an amniocentesis will be performed or not. I am all in favor of any test that avoids a giant needle to penetrate through my belly.
There are three elements taken into account for the calculation: my age, a blood test and the thickness of the nuchal translucency measured via ultrasound.
Consequently, on Saturday morning of week 12 of pregnancy (SA), we were patiently queuing at the Thomson Medical Center for an ultrasound and blood test.
Once again my bladder had to be full and I had to drink more water than I wish in the morning. And then they make you wait with a full bladder. Do they know that it is torture?
A bit more than one hour and a half later, we entered the ultrasound room to start the exam.
On the screen, we saw a baby.
Our tadpole was not looking like a baby with a head, two arms with hands, two legs and it was moving.
It was unbelievable and beautiful at the same time. I was so happy (or my hormones were all over the place) that I cried. I felt stupid but apparently this happens frequently.
We spent roughly 30 minutes with the nurse while she was trying to get the right angle for the measurement. 30 minutes during which we saw our baby moving, kicking, rubbing his nose (or maybe that's our imagination). It was just magical to see that at only 3 months and 6 cm the baby is so developed.
Once again it's becoming even more real... we are going to be parents.
Results of the test in two weeks when we meet our doctor. I hope everything will be ok.
Milk. All I want is milk
For a couple of weeks I've developed a passion for milk. I drink almost one liter a day. You would tell me, that's all good as it's milk and it's full of calcium. But still it's weird that when I open the fridge I think milk while normally I would think coke. But again, they took the coke from me, so I need a substitute.
While I have somehow lost appetite because I never feel like eating anything lately and often eat because I have to it otherwise I feel nauseous, milk is the only think I keep feeling like having. Must be my pregnancy craving.
And I was hoping it would be something like strawberry or ice cream. Or pickles which would have made Wolfram extremely happy as it would have proven that there is German blood in our tadpole.
It's getting better in the morning
There were right. As I get closer to the end of the first trimester, I feel less nauseous in the morning. And that's great.
I only wish I would not be so sensitive to smells as regularly there is a smell in Singapore that gets my stomach all over. Sometimes as I get out of the subway, I really feel sick.
Apart from that, I still have pimples, I am exhausted, I wake up at night at least once to go to the bathroom and my belly is expanding. Sadly it looks more like I am fat vs. pregnant. At this pace I will be a whale soon.
3 months - Tadpole is now a shrimp
Since the beginning, all the websites I have been consulting are refereeing to the baby size comparing to fruits: sesame seed, grape, kumquat, lemon, you name it. While I admit it helps visualizing the size, it does feel weird to think that I have a lemon in my belly.
As we went for the results of the Down syndrome probability calculation (1 in 5000, that's considered a low risk so we are happy. It's not 100% certain but that's already reassuring), the ultrasound showed us an active baby of about 8.5cm. We decided that our tadpole was now the size of a shrimp (a pink one).
By the way, we have now officially past the 3 months which means if everything is fine, there will be a baby in September and we can proudly display its picture on our "first baby album", a gift from a formula company. It's never too early to start to convince future parents to buy your brand.
Vacation and pregnancy
As we considered options for our vacation at Easter, I realized the following:
- no scuba diving because of the risk of air bubbles in the blood
- no climbing because of height illness
- no trekking in the jungle because of the risk of malaria in the regions
- no sport that would shake me (i.e. no roller-coaster) or hit me (i.e. no boxing).
With so many limitations, the gynaecologist's recommendation was: find a resort, enjoy the pool and get some rest.
And that's what we did by choosing Bali. While Wolfram argued he was fine spending 6 days by the pool, I knew he would need something where he could at least take pictures. So I arranged for us to go to two different places of Bali so we do get to discover something, even if limited.
Heat and effort don't do well with pregnancy
As we were walking in the rice fields, I discovered that being pregnant seriously impact my physical conditions. I suffered from the heat like I never did before. I was sweating so much that even Wolfram has to admit something was not normal there. Same when I walk uphill, I get out of breath very quickly.
I had already had to slow down my pace when I walk on the treadmill, but after this vacation I feel that I will have to adjust my work out even more as our tadpole is growing.
I also need a new swimming suit as the current one is being stretched to its maximum already.
3.5 months - I need new clothes
While I don't have a pregnant woman belly yet, I do have a significantly bigger belly than usual. Conclusion, every week, I gave up on some of my clothes. One by one, I'm saying good-bye to my shirts, pants, dresses, as they don't fit me anymore.
Last night we went to a BBQ and I came back in pain as my skirt was just too tight and I was feeling very uncomfortable.
I have been fighting it, but it's time to accept that my belly is expanding beyond what my clothes can handle. I went through all my clothes and made a selection of what I can still wear and pushed aside the rest. I also pulled out the few maternity clothes I bought while I was in the US. I just feel like I will be wearing the same clothes over and over again for the next 6 months, assuming they really stretch as I my belly expand.
Thomson Medical Center - The tour
To help us decide which maternity to choose, we enrolled into the tour of the
Thomson Medical Center.
Together with a group of about 12 couples, we met at 10am for a guided tour of the maternity.
I felt like I was attending a guided tour in a museum vs. a hospital but what can I say, we now live in Asia so we have to get used to the way they do things over here.
After a briefing on the admission process, we started the tour by the "delivery room" which looked ok. To be honest, I would not really be in position to judge whether everything that is needed is there or not. But it looked pretty complete.
Our guide mentioned that the operating theater for c-section is just around the corner so you can be transferred there in no time. That's when I asked my first question: "Do you have a resident anaesthesiologist?"
Well, after a bit of hesitation, she admitted that they only have one "on call".
Thus my second question: "How long for the anaesthesiologist to reach the hospital?"
Well, after a lot of hesitation and trying to avoid to answer, she admitted that he/she will come from the nearby larger hospital and it would take 15-30min... That's a long time in case of emergency if you ask me.
After that, we visited the different type of rooms they offer. That part felt like behind on a tour to choose your hotel room. They offer:
- double or quadruple rooms, with very basic comfort. The hotel equivalent would be an Ibis. Bed is super basic and does not offer the possibility to recline. The most annoying part of a shared room is that baby has to sleep in the nursery. Baby cannot stay in the room with the mother as it would be too chaotic. Maybe we want to get a single room then.
- single room (premium, deluxe, suit, presidential suite...). The hotel equivalent would be a Hilton. You can see by yourself their
virtual tour. The bed is more sophisticated, i.e. it reclines. The blanket is better as well. Obviously there is complimentary wifi. Just like in a higher class hotel.
The tour guide proudly presented one of the nursery where we saw tiny babies. This triggers a question from Wolfram: "Do they have bigger beds for babies?" It is extremely likely that ours will be bigger than the average Asian baby and the tiny beds we've seen may be too short.
As the tour was ending, the tour guide explained to us that mothers will receive their special soup after birth and we could try it already. It's a special soup that's designed to help lactation based on some special herbs. There were so many "special" in her description that I asked confirmation that we would also get a normal meal. I'm not so keen on soup usually, especially when it's hot weather. I am even less keen on soup with special medicinal herbs inside.
So while most people went to the cafeteria to try out the soup, we went, with another couple, to see the neonatal unit. Again, we hope we won't need it, but you never know. The good surprise was that the incubators are equipped with a web cam. This way parents can see their baby 24/7. Sometimes Asia is good.
We left with a bag of goodies and the average price list for delivering a baby at Thomson Medical Center.
In a few weeks, we will visit another maternity and then make our decision.
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